We are all allowed a down day.

I try to remind myself of this on tough days - image from kushandwizdom.com

Or maybe that should be a down week!

I apologise for neglecting my blog this week; my side affects have been quite severe this time and I have had problems with my hands.  They keep freezing so that I cannot move my fingers, so typing has been some what of a challenge!  My face has been going crazy too; I went to my favourite place, Space.NK to get some new foundation and as the lovely lady was re-applying my foundation my face kept freezing! I looked like botox gone seriously wrong! Luckily it just meant we could have a giggle about it, but it was very odd and made me crave being 'normal' again - although as my Mum quite rightly pointed out, I'm not sure I ever have been 'normal'!

This whole journey is more of a rollercoaster ride if I'm honest.  Ive never been a fan of rollercoasters; they make you feel out of control and you never know what direction you are going to go next.  This is exactly how I feel at the moment.  I wouldn't say I'm a control freak, well ok then I would, so this is definitely one rollercoaster ride that I cannot wait to get off of!  I try so hard to keep my life as normal as possible; I stick to Alexa's routines, take her to nursery (when she's not poorly or they have got chicken pox), I try to plan fun times with friends and family and I make sure I get dressed and do my make up everyday.  Its funny how when a spanner is thrown in the works you really do appreciate normality; I crave to get back to work and see all my little kiddies and have a cuppa and chat in the staff room or to get dressed up and have a turkish delight cocktail and giggles with the girls.

But, normality at the moment is cancer and chemotherapy.  I suppose I should be somewhat used to it now, but it is really hard.  This week has reminded me even more that normality is a long way off yet.  My side affects have been really severe and they don't seem to be wearing off this time, plus I have caught a cold which means constant monitoring of my temperature and being knocked for six! 

But I know that this is the journey to health, and I know that I will get there.  It is a tough road, and although I am determined to stay positive throughout, I am getting better at allowing myself some down days.

Another inspirational quote from kushandwizdom.com

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