What I have learnt

Inevitably going through something that forces you to face your own mortality will also give you lots of lessons.  I am incredibly lucky to be in a position  where I am able to use these lessons in the rest of my life.  Some of these things are fairly obvious, but I wanted to chart them as much for myself as for you reading.

• Life is so very precious - it is amazing that you can be faced with how fragile life is by the use of one word and in one moment.  Saying that you should live each day as if it your last is a bit hedonistic for me, but I do believe in making the most of every moment and being thankful for each new day.
• Don't sweat the small stuff - but sometimes it is the small stuff that matter.  I have learnt not to stress about things that are out of my control or don't really matter; but equally I have learnt that being able to still experience the small things, like seeing Alexa's smile, waking up to sunshine or having a cuppa with friends and family, are incredibly precious.  I am far more appreciative of everything in my life now.
• Some people will never get it - I didn't have a 'touch' of cancer, my chemotherapy wasn't a light version, I am not ok just because I haven't lost my hair and I will never be the same person again.  I try to not let some people's attitudes get to me, but I am proud of the battle I have been through and don't want anyone to belittle my accomplishment.
• You find out who really cares and who will always be there for you - sometimes this can really surprise you! Sometimes the people you expect to be there for you suddenly don't know how to act or speak around you, whereas it can be the people you least expect to be there offer you unending support.
• The innocence of childhood is to be cherished - Throughout this journey I have always been able to look at my amazing daughter and feel a real sense of love and hope.  She was young enough to have not been aware of the crisis going on around her; she would happily sit and read through my chemotherapy book without having a clue what it was!  The innocence of childhood disappears so quickly, so cherish and encourage it whilst it is still there.
• Normality and routine is actually very important - Living with cancer is like living in a bubble; it consumes your whole life and becomes your reality.  This is why I craved normality so much.  I wanted to be back at work, to be able to moan about having a cold, to look 'normal' and to be a normal Mum.  I appreciate all of these things so much more now.
• You have no idea how strong you are until you are tested - I even surprised myself with my strength!  But there is no option, you are fighting a battle and strength will give you a fighting chance of winning.
• Listen to your body - if you think there is something not right then get it checked out - it really is that simple!  Question your doctor and make sure that you are satisfied with the outcome, if not then keep going!
• Living with guilt and regret is a waste of time - If you don't think something is right then don't do it! Then you will not feel guilty or have regrets.  If you do make mistakes then learn from them and don't make the same one again.
• Live in the now - yesterday is done, today is going and tomorrow is yet to come, so make the most of the moment you are in NOW.

Much Love Cx